So this morning Eli had an appointment at the sleep clinic. The doctor put him on a cannula with pressurized air to keep his airway open at night. Eli hates this thing and has learned to manipulate it over his nose so he doesn't have to be on it. We have tried all of their suggestions to keep him from doing it and he just won't wear the stupid thing. I told the doctor that Houston scheduled surgery and he said he wants them to put a trach in while he is under. He says that it will help him with his sleep apnea, but also help him after surgery because after intubation his airway may swell and cause the apnea to worsen.
I don't know why a trach upsets me out of all the things we deal with. It just sucks that we have to add one more thing to the list. I cried all morning and I don't even know why. Its just a trach, but it means more medical supplies and machines that he has to be hooked up to. I don't know why I'm so upset about it. It seems so stupid to me, but I just can't stop myself from being upset. I don't even want to tell our family yet. At least I have a month to come to terms with it and do some research. I need to just buck up and be strong. Sometimes being strong just really sucks!
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